The Ultimate Guide to Smoking Weed for the First Time: What Would Snoop Do?

So, you've decided to take the plunge and smoke weed for the first time. Maybe you were inspired by Snoop Dogg's smooth vibes, or perhaps you've just read one too many "relax and chill" memes. Either way, the age-old question remains: What should you smoke for your first time?

The Expert Panel: Sativa vs. Strong Stuff

When asked what strain to start with, the seasoned smokers were split. The consensus seemed to be:

• Sativa: The "gateway" herb. Lighter, more of a gentle introduction to the green world. Perfect for those who want to dip their toes in the water without doing a full backflip into the deep end.
• Go Big or Go Home: Another suggestion was to go straight for the strong stuff. Why? Because you want to feel something. And by "something," we mean feeling like you’ve just become one with your couch while contemplating the mysteries of the universe—like why cats think 3 a.m. is the perfect time to start a mosh pit.

What Percentage THC Should You Start With?

Ah, THC percentages. Nothing makes a first-time experience more exciting than doing math, right? The experts recommended something between:

• 14% THC: Light enough that you can still remember your name, but enough to give you a buzz.
• Higher THC: If you're aiming to skip the "Am I feeling it?" stage and go straight to "I am a floating cloud," then maybe a stronger dose is your vibe.

Why the Menu at a Dispensary Feels Like an Exam You Didn’t Study For

Back in the day, weed came in two types: Good and "What is this oregano?" Now, visiting a dispensary is like going to a fancy wine tasting. You get a menu with strains like Purple Haze, Strawberry Cough, and Alien OG. And just like wine, if you choose wrong, you might end up questioning your entire existence—or at least why your hands feel so weird.

The Fashion Statement: What to Wear When You Toke Up

Our brave first-timer, JD, apparently chose to wear a special shirt for the occasion. The shirt was described as having a "plant attack" vibe. Whether it was covered in marijuana leaves or looked like he’d just wrestled a ficus, we may never know. But fashion tip #1 for first-time smokers: Wear something comfortable because paranoia and tight jeans are not a good mix.

Final Tips for First-Time Smokers:

1. Start Slow: Whether you choose sativa or something stronger, ease into it. The goal is to enjoy the experience, not to turn into a couch potato with anxiety.
2. Snack Up: The munchies are real, and you don't want to be caught without sustenance. A mix of sweet and salty is recommended.
3. Stay Hydrated: Cottonmouth is no joke. Have water or your favorite beverage nearby.
4. Set the Mood: Light music, comfy surroundings, and maybe a video of Bob Ross painting happy little trees. Trust us, it’s a vibe.

And remember, if Snoop Dogg recommends it, you’re probably in good hands. Just maybe skip reading the whole dispensary menu. You’re getting high, not studying for the SATs.